


Failing Memories

by Gozzer



Category: Doctor Strange (2016), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, B.A.R.F. | Binarily Augmented Retro Framing, F/M, False Memories, Family, Hurt, Hurt Stephen Strange, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Major Character Injury, Memory Alteration, New Planets, Not Canon Compliant, Not Spider-Man: Far From Home Compliant, Other, Parent Stephen Strange, Parent Tony Stark, Rape/Non-con Elements, Suicidal Thoughts, Temporary Character Death, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony lives, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:00:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22768933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gozzer/pseuds/Gozzer
Summary: Things weren't going to be normal after the Snap that brought everyone back. Everyone had things to deal with and memories to catch up with. Stephen Strange could only hope his own memories would remain real.
Relationships: Pepper Potts & Stephen Strange, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Stephen Strange, Peter Parker & Tony Stark & Stephen Strange, Stephen Strange & Wong, Tony Stark & Stephen Strange, Tony Stark/Stephen Strange
Comments: 31
Kudos: 114





	1. Chapter 1

_Blood was heavy in the air. It was a thick and strong smell that coated his throat. Covered his hands like the gloves he so favored on bad days. The same hands that trembled with more force that they had in months as they tried to stop the bleeding. His own blood was soaking through his fingers at a faster rate than the incessant marching of heavy feet. Loud and stomping that echoed in his eardrums; that would haunt him for years to come._

_He couldn't even feel the pain of the gaping hole in his chest. Being so close to death had him numb to everything but the harsh scent and beats of death coming ever closer. A large hand came to rest on the top of his head to pull his face up. The very face that would strike fear into his heart for the rest of his life was staring down at him._

_"The Stone." It wasn't a question. This nightmare would get the Time Stone whether he gave it up willingly or not. And giving up the Stone was never going to be an option. The Titan seemed to realize that as the grip on his grew until Stephen wasn't sure if his skull had cracked or broken yet. He could just barely feel something dripping down from his ears as the sickening crack finally sounded._

Stephen jerked up out of the doze he had fallen into. His rapid beating heart and heavy breathing was loud in the silence of the study. It did little to calm him. Thoughts raced through his head as he tried to figure just where he was.

It took far longer than it should have to recognize the quiet of the Sanctum. The familiar pull of magic in his being hardly steadied his swimming mind. Far too many memories floated around for him to grasp on the right one. This had been getting worse. From the second he dropped out of the Time Loop on Titan. He knew far too much. Fourteen million six hundred and five timelines and events crowded his brain. Too many for any human brain to handle properly; if it could withstand them at all.

Even he was having a hard time with this. There were entire sections of his days missing. It was getting harder to determine what was a memory and wasn't. The alternate lifetimes he'd lived and seen were crowding his mind and bleeding into his daily life. He could feel his grasp on reality slipping faster than he could process. Things hardly made any sense to him anymore. It grated on his nerves and had his emotions flaring wilder than they ever had before. He'd never had so many mood swings or lashings in his life. He couldn't remember the last time he had made it through the day without crying or yelling or mind numbing silence. Which wasn't surprising considering he couldn't even remember what day or even year it was.

The last he knew for certain what day it was was right before Thanos came. That had been the last clear day he'd had. Everything after that spaceship was a blur of different memories and raging feelings. The one moment of clarity he had was on the lake edge at the funeral of Tony Stark. He remembered the cool breeze and dreary sky; the stifling sadness, shifting of grass under his foot, lapping of gentle waves against the shore, the heavy tears of most of those present. The second he stepped back into the foyer of the Sanctum could probably be the moment when things started sliding downhill.

He should probably tell Wong about this. If the man didn't already know. It would only be fair since Stephen was practically tormenting the Sanctum with his inconsistencies. He could feel the strain in the very fiber of the building when he fell back into reality. The way his magic would search out for what was real only to be met with frayed edges. It was doing nothing to help his mental health. That was an almost laughable concept at this point. Mental health. He hadn't any of that since he used the Time Stone on Titan. Enough to fight and send this reality into a spiral that wasn't to be fixed for years; but not enough to do anything else. He should definitely tell Wong. Before this got too out of control; too far that there was no fixing it.

But the very thought of admitting to someone else that he was losing his mind was almost unfeasible. His brain was his most treasured possession. He didn't want to lose everything about himself just because of some stupid memories. 

_It was too loud. Noise echoed strangely on this planet; with it seeming far too close or very far away. Screams of pain surrounded him, tormenting him for bringing this destruction upon them. If he hadn't stopped on this planet these people would still be alive. Peter would still be alive._

_The blasts from Thanos' ship had rocked the entire planet. They were just stopping to refuel for a moment; to try and recuperate after the loss of Tony and Mantis. Thanos had gotten to them on the last moon. It was only Drax, Quill, Stephen, and Peter left after that. Now Peter was gone and Stephen couldn't see Drax anywhere. But he couldn't remain here for Thanos to come find him._

_He pulled Quill by the arm back to the Benatar and they ran. Ran to protect themselves and the Stone still in their protection._

There was a knock on the door. Stephen could feel it more than hear it all the way in the back study. That was where he spent most of his time now. It was safe. There was no one to wonder if he was alright or bother him with problems that were rightfully his to deal with. Wong had stopped coming to him with Order business a while back. He couldn't remember when, but he could feel the shift in the Sanctum from it. 

Another knock came to the door. Right, someone was there. He pulled himself up from the chair with the help of Cloak so he didn't stumble. There was a grumble from his mouth but he accepted the help. Building up his mental blocks, he pulled open the heavy Sanctum doors. Surprise ran a short course through him at the sight of Peter Parker standing on the steps. The boy looked up to him with a rather bright smile that Stephen couldn't tell if it was real or not. How could he smile so freely after Stark's death?

"Doctor Strange! I-I you probably didn't expect to see me again. But I wanted to know how you were doing?" Peter bounced on his toes with nervous energy. Stephen felt something in his chest tighten at the sight of the kid he had taken care of for so many lives. 

"I did not, but it's not an unpleasant surprise." He stepped back from the door to offer the boy a chance to come inside if he wished. Peter's eyes grew wide before stepping inside to take in the foyer. "Would you like something to drink?" He wasn't the best host even before the Snap but he'd at least try for Peter. 

"Oh, yeah sure. Water if you have it. I swung most of the way here after getting off the train." Peter followed after Stephen into the study area behind the stairs. Stephen could tell he was watching everything with excitement but knew better than to touch anything. It warmed him just a bit to know the kid was at least thoughtful of how dangerous magic could be. He had to learn that lesson the hard way. 

It used to be odd how he could forget large sections of his days. Nowadays it was so normal he stopped wondering what had even happened during those times. After he and Peter had sat down he didn't come back to himself until it was passed dark and Peter was long gone. The only indication he had actually been there was the new contact in his phone under 'Peter - Spiderling'. He couldn't be sure if it was him that put it or not. That wasn't something he would normally put for a contact name but then again it was his Peter.

Stephen knew his memory was getting worse by the day. It was starting to affect more than just his mental health. He couldn't even make simple portals anymore. Every time he tried all he got were flashes of distant memories and a shower of golden sparks. His hands refused to stop shaking and while he knew they had nothing to do with his magic, he couldn't help blame it on them. The yellow gloves he favored were constantly on his hands because he couldn't bring himself to stare at the scars any longer. They were just another reminder of all he had stopped caring about. His magic was really the last thing he could have relied on. But even that was getting worse by the day; or days or weeks or months, he couldn't fucking remember.

The only times he could honestly say it was daytime was when Peter was visiting. He would come by every couple of days if Stephen could think. They usually just played cards or something while talking, but he couldn't quite be sure. Those times were honestly the light of his life anymore. He loved the kid like his own son and did his best to make sure he never saw how low Stephen had become. Really, all he could hope for was that he didn't have a lapse in memory while around the kid. It's not like he could remember if he did though.

_"Papa?" The little voice of Morgan Stark had Stephen looking up from his book. No, the little girl wasn't actually his but she had taken to him after Pepper's death. It was rather odd considering Tony was technically her father, but not super surprising. Tony wasn't really around anymore. After Pepper's death the man had isolated himself. With no one but Stephen to turn to for comfort, Morgan had come to rely on him._

_"Yes, Miss Mogs?" The little girl climbed up into his lap and pressed her face into his shoulder. He set his book off the the side and wrapped his arms around her. This was a fairly common occurrence during the week. Morgan didn't really know what was going on with her father and when she found him in a particularly down mood, she was quick to run to Stephen. He wasn't sure if Tony was alright with it, but he hardly saw the man anymore. Neither of them did. He was always holed up in the garage working on something that he refused to share with Stephen. Which wasn't that surprising. The two of them hardly knew each other before Titan._

_"I miss daddy." Morgan turned her face up to look at him. Tears were gathering in her eyes and had Stephen's chest tightening. He hated seeing her cry._

_"I know, sweetie. But we just have to give him time. He'll come back to us when he finishes mourning your mother's death." The only reason Stephen was actually there in Tony and Morgan's life was because of Pepper. She had pulled him into their lives despite how he royally messed up the fight with Thanos. But every time he tried to distance himself from them Pepper was dragging him back to the cabin for dinner on Fridays and movies on every other night. He wasn't really friends with Tony, but he was with Pepper._

_"Why'd she have to go?" Stephen would always be surprised by how well Morgan took her mother's death. The girl had cried with her father but after a while she got used to having Stephen around in Pepper's place. She came to him for everything. He had moved into the cabin when it became clear that Tony couldn't care for his daughter alone. It was a silent affair between them all. Even the Sanctum was quiet in its protests to him leaving it in the hands of another Master._

_"Because no one lives forever. It just happened to be her time to go."_

This was going on too long. Stephen could hardly tell if he was in the Sanctum anymore. Even with Peter's visits he was having trouble remaining in the present reality. The boy had seen his lapses and had asked about them at first. Over time - he honestly was tired of not knowing how long it had been - Peter had started spending most days after school at the Sanctum. He talked with Wong when he thought Stephen wasn't listening and tried to work out a way to help him. So far they hadn't come up with anything substantial. They hadn't even talked to him about it before searching through the libraries for a cure. It didn't really bother him at this point. His life was a spiral of moments that he couldn't weave together to fit correctly.

Stephen, for once, felt pretty good about this day. He had gotten up and actually remembered it was day without any trouble. It had him in a good mood; good enough to make something for breakfast. There was even a small portal made into the library for a book. There was a smile on his face for the first time in a long time. His mind wasn't trying to find the right memory or skip hours into reality. He had read several books within those clear hours and even practiced his magic. 

When Peter came to the Sanctum there was large smile on his face at seeing Stephen in a good mood. They played several rounds of cards and had coherent conversations that Stephen was sure he was going to remember tomorrow. It had him relaxed and happy. There were no pauses in their banter to try and remember what was happening, no missing hours. This was a good fucking day. Stephen could only wish it had lasted longer or even been real to begin with. 

In the middle of a round of UNO there was a sharp knock on the Sanctum door. It had both Stephen and Peter looking up from the kitchen table to where the front door was several halls away. Stephen sighed and put his cards before getting up. The pair made their way for the door in silence despite the laughter that was just surrounding them. Holding up a hand to Peter to stop him, Stephen pulled open the heavy door. His entire mood dropped to so low he thought it non-existent. A vice gripped his chest and stinging tears came to his eyes at the sight of who was at the door. 

"Strange? Who is it?" Peter's voice had the man on the steps trying to look around Stephen. This couldn't be happening; it had been such a good day. Stephen closed his eyes and stumbled away from the door without a word. 

"Kid, so this is where you've hiding out at? Been missing you around the house. Moguna keeps asking about you." The voice of Tony Stark filled the quiet Sanctum. Stephen dropped down to the stairs and put his head in his hands as the man's footsteps entered the building. He felt tears slip from his eyes that he didn't bother fighting. Crying was a common thing for him nowadays; crying in front of Peter even more so. 

"Uh, yeah, I've just been, uh." There was a pause in Peter's words as he tried to fill in an excuse. Stephen didn't honestly know what his mind was going to supply the boy with at the moment. He hardly understood what his mind did anyway. "Helping Strange. Around the Sanctum, you know. Wong's been gone for a few days." That was a total lie. Wong spent as much time watching out for him as he could spare. Stephen wouldn't be surprised if the man was in the Sanctum currently. 

"That's nice." There was a suspicious note in Stark's voice. It had Stephen slumping against the railing next to him. His mind hadn't tormented him like this in ages; mainly keeping to memories not on Earth. This one was somehow worse than all the others. At least with them he could tell in some capacity that they weren't real; he couldn't with this one. It was so real and in his Sanctum. His home. Before his mind had at least a small buffer with not bringing his Sanctum into the lapses. He knew his good day was too good to be true. "Hey, wizard, whatcha doing over there?"

"Doc?" A partial sob crawled up his throat. He buried his face further into his arms and tried to curl into himself. If he ignored it then maybe it would disappear and bring him back to reality. "Oh shit! Stephen?" There was rush of steps then a gentle hand touching his hair. It made another sob try to escape him. He wanted this to just stop. He was tired of fighting his own mind; of never knowing what was real or fake. "Wong!" 

Stephen fought this trick harder than he had the others. This one was so real and impossible it had him openly sobbing at this point. He could hear questions being asked around him in familiar voices, but nothing he could focus on. Why was his mind doing this to him?

"Stephen? Can you hear me?" That was Peter, but he couldn't be sure if it was the real one or the trick. The hand on his head moved down to his arms and tried to pull them back from his knees. He hardly resisted and opened his eyes stare up the distressed boy. This couldn't be fake, this was Peter. "Hey, man, what's happening? We need your help here." This was a familiar occurrence actually. He remembered this. This was real.

"Breathe, Strange, breathe." He flicked his gaze over to where Wong was on the steps next to him. The tears were drying as his breathing evened out. This was real. "Good, breathe. We're here."

"Welcome back, Doc." Peter's little attempt at lightening his mood brought a slight twitch of a smile. The boy patted his knee and flopped down on the floor in front of him. Stephen did his best to relax his tense muscles and stretch out his cramped legs. He put them on either side of the boy and leaned back against the stairs to stare up at the ceiling. This had been so much worse than the other times. They really needed to find a cure for this soon before he can no longer carry on. It was already getting hard. 

"Okay, would someone explain to me what the fuck just happened?" No. Please, what is this? Stephen felt a spike of anger at his mind for tricking him again. That man was dead. Gone. That was one thing he knew for sure. This was the reality that they won and Stark died. He had been living in it for long enough to know that was real; yet his mind wasn't done fucking with him. It would never finish until it had its way with him. Until he was nothing more than a shell of the man he used to be; dead to the world with nothing but false memories to rely on. He was so fucked up, his brain was a fucking death sentence. 

"No." The sound of his voice had all of them startling. Even to his own ears it was menacing and nothing close to cheerfulness it had been an hour ago. A snarl spread across his face as his mind tried to convince him this was real. He sat up and fixed everyone his mind made up with a glare. His hands shook violently on his thighs as he tried to curl them into fists. "Get out." The demand had all three men sharing a look. It only served to make his blood boil. His mind was unresponsive to him even when he tried. "Get the fuck out!"

"Strange, calm down." Wong moved his hands over his as Stark pulled Peter back from him. Good, some of them were listening. He might actually get a hold of this this time. 

"Out!" Stephen pushed himself up to his feet and up the stairs away from Wong. "Get out of my head. I have had enough of this fucking shit!" There was dawning coming to Peter and Wong's faces at his words, but he ignored them. His mind was his worst enemy at the moment; it didn't deserve to understand. 

"What brought this on, Strange? This was a good day." Wong got up from the stairs and subtly moved to stand in between Peter and himself. Stephen snarled at them again and scrambled up a few more steps. How could this have been a good day when none of it was real? "Strange, it is real. Nothing has changed."

"That's the fucking problem! Nothing ever changes." He could feel a warmth gathering in his fingers at the anger. It had Wong bringing up shields on his hands in the event that he does something. Which was fucking riot because Stephen could no longer do magic. "Put those away. You know I can't do magic anymore, Wong!" Something was clearing in his mind the longer this conversation carried on. 

"You're still a strong sorcerer Strange." Stephen barked out a harsh laugh. He was anything but strong now. 

"Strong?" He dropped back down the stairs as his knees gave out. There was a shifting in clothes like someone wanted to come closer but was stopped. "I don't even know what day it is. The month, year? I haven't known since Thanos came." He really hadn't bothered to try and find when his mind would lose itself within the same day. It was too tiresome to try. All of the fight fled from Stephen's body; leaving him slumped on the stairs again. This was getting to be too much for him. 

"It's November 8th, 2024, Doc." Peter said, answering the question that plagued Stephen's mind most hours. It was a small comfort. 

"Right, it's been a year then." Stephen wasn't surprised he had missed most of the year. He climbed to his feet and turned away from Wong and Peter on the ground floor. He was tired. "Wake me up in another year, let me know if I survived. I probably won't remember this in the morning." His feet carried up the last few stairs up the the second floor before he stopped. "It was good to see you Stark, even if this is fake. Tell Morgan I said hello." 

This was the worst day ever.


	2. Chapter 2

When Peter Parker first went to visit Doctor Strange he was almost surprised that the door was opened. He didn't expect the sorcerer to even be there. They didn't really know each other, but he wanted to thank the man for helping to save the universe. Nobody seemed to really think about the doctor anymore after the final battle with Thanos. Peter couldn't remember the last time his name was mentioned in conversation. It was like Doctor Strange faded back into obscurity; like he hadn't actually existed in the first place. 

He found the first real meeting with Strange rather relieving. There was no talk of heroism or patrolling. It was just the two of them talking in some kind of sitting area. He found that the Sanctum was rather welcoming to him during those few hours. The buildings atmosphere was warm and easy; if only a little at odds. Peter vowed he would visit again and put his number into Strange's phone. The doctor had said that he couldn't really text anymore but it was the thought that counts.

The next few times he came by he started bringing along decks of cards to have something to do. He enjoyed talking and all of that, but he liked to be doing something as well. Strange took to it as well as he could with hands. They would spend several hours playing cards and just relaxing. At first Peter was worried he was keeping Strange from his work, but the doctor assured him that it was no problem. It didn't really stop him from worrying, but he understood the want to avoid the subject and didn't say anything else on it. He just went back to his cards and tried his best to beat Strange. The man was surprisingly good at any game Peter threw at him. 

It was during one of these games that Peter started to see something wrong with Strange. He hadn't really thought about it at first; the man spaced out sometimes, no big deal. There were slight delays in his responses a few times and sometimes his hands shook so bad he couldn't even hold his cards. He had assured Peter that it was nothing, just his nerves acting up again. The things would mellow out during the hours sometimes, but the pauses between him saying something and Strange replying had been getting longer. Peter did his best to not draw attention to it until he finally got a grasp on what was actually happening. 

"How do you keep doing that?" Peter glanced at the cards in his hands and shifted his hold on them. He had almost three full suits that he was going to lay down but he was still missing a single card for each of them. Across the table from him Strange had several suits set down in front of him. The man was down to two cards and close to winning. This was going to be the fourth game in a row he won if Peter didn't lay his cards down soon. He looked away from his cards to watch Strange discard a card on the pile. 

"I've had several years of practice, Pete. You don't want to know how many rounds I've gone with Christine." The casual use of his name had Peter furrowing his brow. Strange glanced up at him with a soft smile on his face that Peter had never seen before. "She still kicks my sorry ass. I'm merely passing on the lesson." Peter had heard of Christine Palmer only once before. Strange didn't like talking about his ex-girlfriend all that much; they didn't talk anymore. Hearing him speak so casually and warm of her had Peter on edge. He picked up a card from the deck but didn't really pay attention to what he pulled. 

"Are you doing alright, Doc?" He finally looked back to his cards and laid down the suits he had to not get caught with them in his hand. When he glanced back up Strange was watching him with a mildly confused expression. 

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Something seemed to dawn on his face as he looked over his shoulder towards the open hall behind him. He leaned a bit closer like what he was going to say was a secret. "Did she talk to you? 'Cause I had nothing to do with the Cloak bringing home that cat. The thing was so matted you probably couldn't even tell it was an animal." 

Peter was full blown confused now. There was no cat in the Sanctum and as far as he knew Strange and Christine weren't on speaking terms. Not to mention that he'd never heard Strange talk like this before. He was normally a little aloof but still polite; not this warm and open tone he was using. It was setting Peter on edge. Had something happened to Strange while he wasn't looking?

"Uh, no?" He picked a random card and put it on the discard pile if only to keep some semblance of normalcy to his situation. Strange relaxed and leaned back while picked up the card Peter had laid down. 

"Good. That thing was a menace." Peter wasn't even upset when Strange won the game. He followed his face for something wrong, but couldn't find anything. Then he glanced down at his hands and found them completely stable; no trembling or twitching. It was like they had never been injured in the first place. He traced the scars with his eyes before looking up to the doctor. Strange had stopped shuffling the deck and was sitting completely still. There was a distant look in his eyes that had Peter nervous and worried. Then the doctor flinched so hard the cards fell from his now shaking hands down to the table. 

"Doctor Strange?" Peter didn't reach out to touch him even as the man trembled. The man dropped the remaining cards and tried to clench his fists only to stop before he could hurt himself. He drew in a shaky breath and fell back into his chair. 

"It's time you left, Parker." The use of his last name had Peter more nervous. Strange opened his eyes to stare at him with such a broken look that it had Peter reaching out for his hands. "You know the way to do the door." He got up from his chair and disappeared into the Sanctum before Peter could even say anything. 

The next day he came by to check on the sorcerer to find that he didn't even remember yesterday. It all left Peter fearing and concerned for the man's well-being.

Each incident was different from the last. Some days it would be completely normal with a few rounds of cards and Peter doing his homework. Other days it would just be Strange floating through the Sanctum like in a fog. Peter was so worried for him he had even talked to Wong. The librarian had said that he knew of the incidents and was keeping an eye on the man. They both started digging through both magical cures and medical cures to find something to help. Strange had commented on their work, but could never focus long enough to help them. It was heartbreaking to watch such a strong man crumbled before them. 

Peter spent most of his free time at the Sanctum nowadays. After school he would come straight there and only get back to May's well passed dark. Both May and Tony had commented on his behavior but didn't try to stop him. It was agreed that he was almost eighteen and could realistically take care of himself. Which left Peter free to try and help Strange as much as possible. He did his best to keep the man focused in the real world, but sometimes even he couldn't help him. 

One of the worst incidents was when Strange couldn't control his magic. It had been an iffy day with Peter making the doctor a cup a tea while he flipped through a book without really reading it. The Sanctum was quiet and much less welcoming in the past few weeks. Most of the halls were dark and cold with only the study and foyer being lit up. Peter didn't say anything in case it upset the building; but he knew the Sanctum was mourning the loss of its Master. While Strange wasn't physically gone he was hardly present enough to call him there.

In the middle of the kitchen Peter's spidey-sense sky rocketed. He tensed and looked around for the threat but couldn't anything out of the ordinary in the room. It didn't become apparent what was wrong until he heard the crashing from the study. He dropped what he was doing to race for the area only to slam into an invisible wall. The barrier vibrated and rippled with pure energy when he reached out to touch it. His skin was still crawling and had him peering into the hall to try and find Strange. Where he found him didn't ease his concern. 

All the furniture was spread out around Strange like a bomb had gone off. Pages from books fluttered in the air. The mirror on the wall was shattered and spread shards across the floor. In the middle of the destruction Strange stood with orange glowing circles wrapped around his wrists. The same glow was gathering in his palms. Peter was about to open his mouth and call out to the man when Wong joined his side. 

"Don't say anything." Wong had two shields over his hands that he held close to the barrier. Wisely, Peter kept quiet. The librarian tested the limit of the energy slowly only to get a glowing orb thrown his way. His shields caught the projectile before it could hit him in the face. Both of them ducked the second one thrown before glancing back at Strange. There was a dark look over his face as he prepared to hit them with another blast. 

"Wong? What's happening?" Peter asked, almost scared to step away from the wall he was hiding behind. A chunk of wood was burned away from the orb that hit it. 

"He's having a freak out. It has only happened a couple times in the past." Wong threw up a bigger shield to cover the entire doorway they were hiding behind. The mandalas didn't even shudder at the force of another orb being thrown. "He believes he's under attack and he has to fight. When this happens it's best to ward the area he is in and leave him be."

"But shouldn't be help him?" A few more hand movements were made and Peter watched as a ring of large mandalas surrounded the study; trapping Strange inside. 

"By doing what? There is no reasoning with him in this state and out of it he believes he can no longer do magic. There is nothing we can do for him at the moment." With those words, both of them settled to wait out the episode. Peter vowed to never leave Strange while he was in a state like this and sat down in the doorway to watch over the man. Even Wong stayed close by keep an eye on him to make sure he didn't hurt himself. After several hours and well passed when Peter was normally home, Strange finally passed out in one of the broken chairs. 

When the good days came around nothing could stop the grin on Peter's face. They were getting few and far between, but they still happened thankfully. Strange would greet him at the door and they'd play several rounds of cards throughout the day. Even the Cloak joined during these times; it had been lacking in the past few weeks with Wong trying to keep it from harm. It was one of these good days that lead to one of the worst. 

Peter laid down a draw four card on the blue pile. There was a groan as Strange grabbed his cards and Cloak set down a red. Down to one card, Peter knew he was going to win. Strange had six cards while Cloak had a large handful. He flashed a triumphant grin and went to set down his red seven when there was a knock on the door. All three of them looked at each other before getting up from the kitchen table. When they got to the door Strange held up a hand to keep Peter from coming any closer in case it was a threat. Cloak took that warning and floated up the stairs; Wong had made sure that if something happened, or might happen, then the Cloak would leave the situation. The second the door opened Peter could almost see all the light leave the doctor's body.

"Strange? Who is it?" He took a step closer only to have Strange stumble back from the door. Tony stood on the front step with a grin on his face. 

"Kid, so this is where you've been hiding out at? Been missing you around the house. Moguna keeps asking about you." Tony walked into the foyer and closed the door behind him. Peter froze as the man made his way closer. 

"Uh, yeah, I've just been, uh." He paused to try and find a usable excuse. There wasn't much he could say without ruining Strange's privacy. "Helping Strange." That was stupid. "Around the Sanctum, you know. Wong's been gone for a few days." Completely and utterly untrue; Wong was just upstairs in the library. Peter did his best to not cringe as Tony narrowed his eyes at him. 

"That's nice." The suspicion in his voice didn't go unnoticed. Just when Peter was about to say something else Tony turned to look at the stairs. Peter followed his gaze to find Strange sitting on the stairs with his head buried into his arms. "Hey, wizard, whatcha doing over there?" 

"Doc?" Peter moved closer to the doctor as something close to a sob escaped him. Fear spiked in his chest as he rushed over. "Oh shit. Stephen?" The use of his name normally had some calming effect, but not this time. Peter rested a hand on the dark hair and tried to lift his head. This has happened quite a few times in the past, but this episode seems to be worse than the others. Another sob left Strange. "Wong!" 

The call for the librarian did little to snap Strange out it. Peter crouched down in front of the man as he heard the footsteps from the second floor growing closer. He could feel Tony's eyes on his back but refused to acknowledge him. Wong came down the stairs without a word and sat on the stairs next to Strange. 

"Stephen? Can you hear me?" Peter did his best to keep the concern out of his voice. It was best to not add to the man's stress. He moved his hand from Strange's hair down to his arms and tried to pull them away from his face. Strange lifted his head and opened his eyes to stare at him. Tears covered his pale face. "Hey, man, what's happening? We need your help here." Talking to him could sometimes snap him out of this state. It had Peter nervous but he did his best to hide it. 

"Breathe, Strange, breathe." Wong drew the doctor's attention to him. He took deep even breaths that had Strange copying almost instantly. It was sad to say that the two of them had pretty much had to train Strange to copy their movements when like this. There was hardly another way to break the man out of his own head. "Good, breathe. We're here."

"Welcome back, Doc." Peter tried to lighten the mood and patted Strange's knee. He flopped down to the floor to stay out of Strange's personal space. The man stretched out his legs and placed them on either side of Peter while leaning back on the stairs. It was hardly a comfortable position, but Peter wasn't going to say anything. They all needed to calm down and relax for a moment before addressing what had caused this. Strange normally didn't say anything about it, but they were slowly making progress on getting him to talk openly. 

"Okay, would someone explain to me what the fuck just happened?" The sound of Tony's voice had Peter and Wong looking back at him. There was a bewildered and mildly concerned expression on the man's face. Peter sighed and went to get to his feet when another voice stopped him. 

"No." The single word sent a spike of fear through Peter. He'd never heard Strange sound like that before. The three of them turned to look at the sorcerer to watch him sit up with a snarl covering his face. Peter knew the man would get irrationally angry sometimes, but it had never been this dangerous towards them before. He normally shouted a bit before disappearing somewhere into the Sanctum. This was the first time Peter's spidey-sense had picked up the man as a threat. Even when Strange lost control of his magic it was only warning him of a possible problem. Watching the man glare at them with so much hatred, Peter felt like running from him for the first time. "Get the fuck out!" 

"Strange, calm down." Wong gentle put his hands over Strange's to try and calm him. Peter felt Tony's hands come down on his shoulders to try and pull him away from the threat. He scrambled back with the pull as he felt something close to the energy barrier from before start to build. 

Peter got to his feet and backed up with Tony as Wong tried to talk to Strange. There was a flickering set of lights upstairs that nobody paid attention too. When Strange told them to get out his head, Peter felt an understanding come to him. This wasn't the first time Strange had thought he and Wong were a part of his mind. This just happened to be the worst it had ever been. The day had started out fairly well with Peter finding Strange actually reading and not just flipping through the pages. Something must have triggered this or it had never been a good day. 

That thought was heartbreaking. If this hadn't started as a good day then they were losing Strange to his mind more and more. Peter didn't want to think about what would happen if Strange never came back from his memories. 

A fizzle of shields pulled Peter back to Wong. The librarian had moved to stand between Peter and Strange with his shields coming up over his hands. Peter watched Strange stumble up the stairs until he was almost at the top. There was a sparking sound as an orange glow gathered in Strange's palms. It had Tony trying to pull Peter back further. Peter shook off his hands and watched Strange closer as he continued to talk with Wong. He could see something clearing on the man's face as the glow surrounding his hands disappeared. 

"Strong?" Peter did his best to not flinch when Strange dropped back down to the stairs. He went to take a step closer but Tony held him back. "I don't even know what day it is. The month, year? I haven't known since Thanos came." A large chunk of hope broke off from Peter's heart. He had been telling the doctor the date every few days when he asked. If he couldn't remember, then how far gone is the doctor's mind already? 

"It's November 8th, 2024, Doc." Peter answered like he had done several times before. It was no less distressing this time than it was the last hundred times. This was so much worse than it was when Peter first noticed.

"Right, it's been a year then." Something tried to fight Peter's hope at the words. Strange hadn't even realized how long it had been since they were all brought back. Peter watched as the man got to his feet again and turned away from them; all fight gone from his body. "Wake me up in another year, let me know if I survived. I probably won't remember this in the morning." Everyone watched as Strange climbed the last few steps before pausing again. "It was good to see you Stark, even if this is fake. Tell Morgan I said hello." With that he disappeared into the second floor of the Sanctum. 

Peter dropped down to the stairs and put his head in his hands. This was so much worse than he or Wong had thought. Strange didn't even believe that Tony was still alive. There had been a day several months ago that Strange had made a passing comment about Tony's death that left Peter confused but he didn't question it. That was the only time Strange had even insinuated that he thought Tony was dead and Peter hadn't thought much about it after that. But with Strange's last words he couldn't help but think. How long has Strange thought that the billionaire was gone? And just what caused him to think that?

"Wong?" Peter lifted his head to stare up at the librarian. He was just standing at the end of the stairs watching where Strange had disappeared; but at Peter's voice he looked down. "Did you know? That Doc thought Mr. Stark was dead?" Hearing himself say it out loud solidified the statement. It had Tony scoffing but the two of them ignored him. Wong sighed and finally turned away from the stairs. 

"Yes. Strange has convinced himself that in this reality Stark sacrificed himself to save the universe." Wong shook his head and sat down on the stairs next to Peter. "I have only tried to tell him otherwise once before; when we first got back to the Sanctum. He did not take it well." Peter watched as the librarian ran his hand over the banister to finger the giant chunk missing. "I decided it was best to let him continue on while we searched for a cure. But I fear that even a cure would be too late." 

"Oh." Peter tried his best to show his disappointment at the statement. The fear had always been in the back of his mind but this is the first time it's been confirmed. There maybe no saving Strange. 

"Yeah, could someone explain what is going on?" Tony's voice had the two of them looking up to him. "I am so beyond lost right now. How the hell did he know about Morgan?"

"Remember on Titan when he did the whole Time Stone thingy? Looking into the future?" Peter asked, trying to come up with the best way to explain this. Tony nodded somewhat hesitantly. "Well all of those futures are still in his mind. They've been, I guess, messing with him?" He looked over to Wong to see if that was the right term. 

"Strange's mind is fractured from all of the trauma. He has been fighting with his memories most of this year with little result. The lapses in his time in reality have been growing larger," Wong explained. Tony's face flashed through so many emotions Peter couldn't hope to name them all. He finally settled on curiously concerned after a while. 

"We've been trying to find a cure. But so far we haven't found anything." Peter sighed and dropped his chin back into his hand. They had gone through most of this Sanctum's library and London's looking for something. But what books the Order does have on healing and memory magic is little and useless to them. It was wearing them both down. 

"That's what you've doing," Tony said. There was no question or judgment in his voice to Peter's relief. He looked up to find Tony thinking about something. There was a thoughtful furrow of his brow and a slight frown on his face. Peter glanced over to Wong to find he had no idea what Tony was thinking about either. "You remember B.A.R.F. right, Peter?" The mention of the program and device had Peter brightening. That was perfect. 

"Yes! Why didn't I think of that earlier? That could help so much." Peter got to his feet and started pacing in a small circle. "We could combine your technology with the altering spells Wong found to help Doc. Not only to remove the other memories but to help him work through what he saw and what's actually real."

"There's still a lot of variables in this, but at least it's a start." Tony said, putting a hand on Peter's shoulder to stop his pacing. He came to a stop next to the man and turned to Wong for answers. The librarian was sitting with a carefully blank expression on his face; Peter has come to know that as his thinking face. 

"It will take a while to get the right spells, but this is probably our best option." Wong got to his feet as Peter felt like cheering. They finally had a chance at helping Strange after so many months of uncertainty. Peter couldn't help the fist pump he did at the victory. "We will have to convince Strange to do this though. Forcing him into something would do more damage than good. It has to be up to him."

"I can take care of that. He tends to listen me when I talk." There was a hum of disbelief from Wong but he didn't openly argue. Strange hardly listened to anyone. Peter nodded to Wong and turned to Tony while the librarian started up the stairs. "Thank you, Tony!" He hugged the man as tight as he dared. Tony patted his back lightly before pulling away. 

"Yeah, well, I couldn't just let the wizard carry on like that." Tony glanced back up the stairs before turning for the door. "You coming along? Morgan would be excited to see you."

Peter told him in a minute before he went to grab his backpack from the kitchen. He came back out and the both of them left the Sanctum for Tony's Audi. The excitement and relief at possibly finding a cure had Peter buzzing with energy. They actually had a chance at helping Strange now.


	3. Chapter 3

_The empty expanse of space beyond the glass of the Benatar used to be daunting. In the first few months of traveling - running - it had been hard to swallow. It was only the three of them left in this ship and none of them knew how space really worked. They had gotten a handle on how to use the controls after Quill had taught them in the first month of travel. Only Stephen still had a problem. He wasn't as versed in technological knowledge as the other two. But that still didn't help how lonely space actually was._

_Quill and the others are gone; have been for quite a few weeks. Tony had taken to flying the Benatar when need be but course had been set for across the universe from Titan. There was little hope of returning to Earth._

_Stephen found himself enjoying just watching the black and very seldom splash of swirling color fly by the glass. It somehow grounded him. The other two didn't really like watching like he did. They were normally below together either talking or working on something. Stephen found it best to not bother them. Neither of them knew him well and didn't feel inclined to do so either. He had been the one to force everyone to leave Titan and had been the one to lead the Guardians to death. It wasn't meant to happen, but Tony and Peter couldn't see it as anything but._

_The same thing day after day was wearing down on his mind. Having lived through years of a time loop he had taken measures to make sure his mind knew when it was a new day. Being up in space with nothing to tell the passing of day and night; he was losing his mind. He did his best to hide it from the other two when they were in the same area but it was getting harder and harder. Just sitting and watching space was the closest thing he could get to time actually passing. It did little to help. There was nothing on the ship that he could do to mark the passage of time other than talking with the others; but they didn't want to speak to him. He didn't know what he would do if he could no longer tell when time was passing._

Stephen couldn't remember waking. He knew he was awake of course, he just didn't know when or how he had awakened. That was really the least of his worries though. He didn't become aware until midday at least and in the middle of the kitchen. Thankfully he wasn't actually doing anything yet but large kitchen knife was in his shaking hands. At first he couldn't find what he was doing until he found an apple resting by his feet. He hardly trusted himself on a good day with a knife anymore and he didn't know what had possessed him to think he was okay enough now. 

The knife was put on the counter and the apple picked up before he left the kitchen. He rubbed the apple off and took a bite of it. Obviously he was in the kitchen for food even if he couldn't tell if he was hungry or not. He wandered the halls of the Sanctum without a detestation. Cloak joined him eventually and before the sun even had a chance to start setting, he was heading back for his room. Sleeping seemed like a good option.

_"You know, you can be a real pain in the ass." Stephen shook his head and leaned back against the couch cushions. Tony stood in front of him with a squirrel resting in his open hands; Morgan was bouncing right by his side. The girl had grown so much since he'd been around. When he first met her she was still crying over the loss of her father and mothers marriage. She was smart and knew what it meant but that didn't mean it was any less heartbreaking. Tony had gotten her out of the cabin and brought her to the Sanctum to allow Pepper time to cool down. They had gotten into a fight and Tony wanted Morgan out of the house. Why his first choice was the Sanctum was beyond Stephen, but he wasn't going to complain. He loved Morgan like she was his own._

_"What ever do you mean, Stephanie?" Tony moved to sit down next Stephen on the couch; Morgan following to sit on his other side. The squirrel twitched its whiskers and sniffed at Stephen for a moment before running up Tony's arm. Stephen sent the man an unimpressed glare. He knew exactly what he meant. "Alright, alright. We found it on the sidewalk and couldn't just leave it. We are now proud owners of Twigs the Squirrel."_

_"She looked so sad and lonely." Morgan said, clutching onto Stephen's arm and looking up at him with doe eyes. They never failed to get her whatever she wanted. Stephen held her gaze for a few moments before sighing and giving in._

_"You two are taking care of her. And if the Sanctum gets messed up, you're cleaning it." There was a cheer from the girl and a kiss on the cheek from the genius. Stephen only sighed and sunk lower into the couch. He knew he was going to regret this decision._

There were squirrels just outside his window. A pair of them were racing along the tree branches; one chasing after the other. It was peaceful watching them. Stephen found himself reminiscing over futures that would never come to pass. There was only the one with the squirrel for a pet and as much he loved the particular future, he hated that creature. It had tore about the Sanctum before it fell out one of the gateways into the rain forest a few years later. Morgan and Tony had been devastated about it. Stephen not so much. He was glad when it was gone; it had ruined its species in his mind. But at the moment he was enjoying the peace and clarity in his head at watching them. 

Nobody had come to bother him as far he could tell in who knows how long. He hadn't seen or heard from Peter and Wong in probably days if he could recall clearly; which he most likely couldn't. If he actually thought about it, he couldn't remember the last time he had been in contact with either of them. It was just a blur of stolen moments in his head. These moments of clarity did little to help determine how long time had passed. 

He had given up on trying to straighten out the days in his mind. Half the time he couldn't remember if he had gone to sleep or even when or where he had done so. It was wearing down further on his soul. 

_Tony Stark was gone. Stephen had pulled Peter away from his body and back onto a stolen space ship to avoid either of them joining the dead man. It had been a simple refueling on a distant planet; they weren't looking for any trouble. A group of natives had decided that Tony out of all of them was the biggest threat and a_ _violation of their planet's customs somehow. He had been dragged from their little charging area while Stephen and Peter were still in the ship. The screams and cries of pain had drew them from the safety. What greeted them was not a pretty sight._

_Four tall scaled creatures stood over the crumpled and almost unrecognizable body of Tony. His blood was splattered over the ground and metal of the charging station. At least one of the creatures had gutted the man and strung his organs out among the group. What was left of Tony was barely the body of a human male._

_Peter had charged for the aliens shouting in anger and grief. A knife had found its way into his hands on his short race and plunged itself deep into the throat of one of the creatures. Stephen raced to catch up and would have joined in the revenge fight if he didn't notice more of the same creatures heading for them. When he reached the young adult he had already dispatched all four of the aliens and was crying over the body of Tony. He screamed and kicked when Stephen tried to pull him away. It took both Stephen's physical and mystical strength along with the Cloak to get the sobbing man back into the ship._

"Doc? Are you ready?" Stephen came back to himself with a flinch and tears in his eyes. He came face to face with the youthful and bright face of Peter. Without a warning he pulled the kid into a hug and had to force himself not to sob into his shoulder. Peter was still shorter than himself but not by a lot. The kid was growing up. "Hey, man, you're back. It's alright." Hands rubbed his shoulders until he stopped shaking. 

He pulled away and allowed the Cloak to take over comforting him. It was settled heavy on his shoulders with its edges curled around his legs and waist tightly in a hug. Stephen felt himself calm down and relax back into reality. It took a few minutes for Peter's first words to register. 

"What? Ready for what?" He glanced down at himself to find him in civilian clothes. A look around provided him the information of them standing in the foyer with Wong off to the side watching quietly.

"We might have found a way to help you, Stephen. We talked about it a few days ago." Peter said, keeping his voice both gentle and non-condescending. Stephen couldn't recall any conversation like that. He actually didn't remember the last time he'd seen Peter or Wong. This might be the first time he couldn't remember full days; or at least that he knew of. Most of the time he knew of at least when a day ended and another started, just not the specifics of the day. This was getting so much worse. His mind felt like blended soup at the moment trying to remember what had happened. 

"Alright, if you think it'll help." Stephen nodded his acceptance even if he didn't know what it was they were actually going to do. Anything was better than nothing at this point. 

"Hopefully it will. It's kinda designed for this type of thing." He knew Peter was taking care to not say what exactly it was. Which he could respect if the information was going to hurt him more than help him honestly. He was tired of feeling like this and any chance to fix it - whether he knew what is was called or not - was something he was going to try. 

Nothing else was said as Wong opened a portal. It opened up into a spacious room with nothing but a single chair in the center and a door on one wall. There was nothing special about the room that Stephen could tell. Once they were all through Wong was quick to disappear out the door while Peter pulled out something from his pocket. Stephen followed Peter's lead and held out a hand for whatever he was trying to hand over. It was a small black device. Curved and thin with a single switch on one side. 

"It's to connect your brain to the program. You only have to place it behind one ear and we'll do the rest, alright?" Peter kept the explanation simple and easy. Stephen frowned at the device then the boy before doing as tasked. The device fit oddly behind his right ear and was almost uncomfortable to leave there. 

"What exactly is this supposed to do? I don't see how this is going to help," he said. He looked around the room and paused at the door before moving back to Peter's face. The kid shifted his feet and glanced behind him to a wall. 

"It'll read your brain waves and we've fixed the program to target your memories. We're hoping that B.A.R.F. will be able to help you work through the memories and determine which ones are real and actually happened." That would be great, if it worked. He didn't know of any technology capable of doing so, but he was at least going to try. These millions of memories were tearing him apart. 

With his acceptance given once more, Peter left through the door. Stephen looked around the room again before shrugging and moving to sit down in the lone chair.

_A glass window shattered across Stephen's face. He ducked and rolled away from the explosion into a warm puddle of blood. It soaked into his robes and seeped over his skin. Explosions rocked the building and sent giant plates of glass crashing to marbling floor; down on top of anyone left in the building. Screams of pain echoed in his ears._

_He scrambled to his feet and tossed up the largest shield he could muster to keep the building from falling down on his head. This planet was supposed to be safe. Several more explosions sounded around him; deafening him. He was tossed back to the ground. The shield he was trying to keep up was faltering with his already lacking energy and strength. These years of running had worn him down. Each loss he experienced was another blow to his soul and a crack in his armor. It was only a matter of time before he could no longer keep running._

_With another piercing scream his shield fell to the chaos. Wide eyes stared up at the ceiling as a shard of glass headed straight for him. He watched in slow motion as it came closer and closer until it was slicing through his chest. Breaking through his sternum to reach the precious organs underneath. Blood bubbled up in his throat as the remaining light faded from his sight._

Stephen gagged and very nearly puked. He did his best to fight away the memories of death, but there was only so much he could do. It left him shaking and hunched over his knees on the ground. When he had got there he didn't know. Where he was, he didn't know. He fought his nausea to open his eyes and look around at his surroundings. An empty gray room greeted him. It wasn't familiar but it also didn't feel so foreign. For the first time in a long time he could tell that no significant amount had passed as he started to recognize where he was. Maybe, just maybe, this thing could work. 

_"Oh god!" Quill stared up at him with wide eyes. They were all terrified. Thanos had found them three months into their escape. All of them were locked in the Benatar as it was forced into the monstrous ship before them._

_"You plan on using that Stone this time, Doc?" Stephen glanced over at Tony to find his armor already covering his face._

_"And do what? Turn back time ten minutes and get us caught all over again? Lock us into a time loop? Infinite moments of the same dread and fear for the rest of eternity. Watching our fate creep up on us for years and years but not being able to do anything about it. Is that really what you want to do?" He glared at the man. There was little he could do with the Time Stone to save their fate. Anything he did could possibly ruin things further._

_"So what, we just let Thanos catch us?" The question didn't get the chance to be answered. Something tore through the ship and ripped the metal away to reveal all of them to the dark of Thanos' ship. The Titan himself stood in front of them with the Infinity Gauntlet pointed at Strange._

_It was almost to quick to see what was happening. A long sword stabbed through Quill's chest and several shots from a gun took out Drax and Mantis. Stephen watched as Tony and Peter barely had time to move before the Power Stone was being used against them. He saw and felt their blood spray across his body as they were ripped apart. Some sort of choked cry left his throat before the Gauntlet was being wrapped around it._

_"The Stone, wizard. I will not ask again." Stephen glared up at Thanos defiantly. The Cloak fluttered on his shoulders before pulling him out of the Titan's grip. They barely managed to leave his grasp. A blue glow surrounded them and pulled them back towards him. Stephen watched as the Power and Soul Stones lit up. The glows raced through the air towards him and he could feel his entire being being unmade. It brought screams from his throat until there was nothing left of him._

The last cry was still on his lips when he fell back into his mind. He opened his eyes to find the same gray room. There was nothing different about it and nothing different about himself. He was still here in this reality. The Cloak fluttered on his shoulders and patted his cheeks in comfort. With a deep breath, Stephen picked himself up off the floor. He brushed off his jeans and sniffed back tears before moving to pace the room. Whatever this program was doing to his mind was making a clear definition of when he was in his memories and when he was in the room. He just didn't know if it was the same day.

_Sunlight filtered through the blinds covering the windows. It was just passed noon and he knew he should get out of bed. He had to pick up Morgan from a friend's house in an hour but he was just so warm. He never enjoyed winter._

_There was a rustling downstairs that forced him to get up. Pepper was home and probably making lunch. She had to leave early for a meeting but had promised to be back before Morgan. Stephen groaned and pulled himself out of bed. Shrugging on a shirt and pair of sweatpants, he made his way downstairs. He had been living in the cabin long enough to know which stairs to avoid as they creaked and which areas of the house he was allowed to perform magic in. It made getting into the kitchen silently super easy._

_Standing at the island was Pepper. Stuff for sandwiches was spread out over the hard wood counter. He moved around Pepper to snag a piece of cheese off the plate before sitting down on a bar stool._

_"You're up late. Drink to much with Wong?" Pepper asked, not looking up from the bread she was spreading mayonnaise over._

_"No." The very thought of drinking unsettled his stomach; much less so with Wong. He shook his head and went for another piece of cheese only to get his wrist smacked with the butter knife. "I was taking care of a demon down in Australia last night. Got in late."_

_"Hm, I consider three in the morning more than just late," Pepper said. She gave him a look that had him rolling his eyes. He loved her to death, but she was a smidgen too bossy for him some days. "At least you're up in time to pick up Morgan. It's almost time to grab her."_

_"I know, that's why I even got up." He yawned and stretched his arms over his head. A thought from last night tickled his mind and had him folding into himself just the smallest bit. "It's been three years hasn't it." It wasn't a question for they both knew what he was talking about. The_ _ anniversary of the suicide of the great Tony Stark. He couldn't live in this broken Earth anymore and taken his own way out.  _

_ "Yes." The answer was sharp and edged with ice. She never enjoyed talking about his death with anyone; much less Stephen. "Go pick up Morgan." The clear deflection of conversation had him frowning. Three years was a long time to not talk about his death. He couldn't help but feel that Pepper was on that same path.  _

_ "She loves you. Don't force her to lose another parent." He got to his feet and fixed the woman with a soft look. She glanced up from the food to meet his eyes with tears shining in her own. "I cannot be her soul caretaker. It would break her and myself to be left alone again." Tears dripped down her face at his words. He walked around the island to wipe away the tracks on her face. "There are so little people left in the world already, do not take away one of the best."  _

Oh, he remembered that life-time. It was full of grief and sadness and enough death to ruin the planet further. Stephen blinked away his own tears and continued his pacing. This might actually be helping. He hadn't felt this in control since Titan. Maybe...maybe he could direct where this program would next take a memory from. 

_"Dad!" Stephen didn't bother looking up from the thick tome in his lap. The call wasn't for him. A pattering of footsteps raced along the polished floors of the Sanctum towards the_ _ pseudo living room. It was really his study that had been refurbished with a long red couch, a couple of matching chairs, and a TV set up that he never used. Peter and Morgan love using it for their gaming.  _

_ The footsteps entered the room and came to a stop in front of him. Glancing up he found Morgan standing in front of him. Her dark hair was up it pig tails and the shirt she was wearing was absolutely covered in paint. She stared at him with an expectant and slightly confused expression. It was obvious that she had thought Tony would've been in the room with him.  _

_ "He's up stairs with Peter. I wouldn't bother them if I was you." The two of them were performing some experiment with portals. He had warned them against it but shut them in the Mirror Dimension to cause less harm. _

_ "But I need him!" Morgan stomped a small foot on the carpet and crossed her arms. "Levi isn't the best painting companion. And dad doesn't complain when I get paint on him." Stephen hummed at her and took in the bright colored appearance once again. He waved a hand over her clothes and cleared away all signs of a mess; that paint would not come off in a regular wash. She scrunched up her face at him in disapproval.  _

_ "Hey! That was a work of art!" The girl frowned at her now clean clothes then up at him. He didn't budge under her stare; he would not allow her to roam the Sanctum in such a mess.  _

_ "How about you go find your mom?" The suggestion brought a thoughtful look to her face. Pepper was most likely in her office doing work like usual, but she would stop for her daughter. "She's in her office and probably looking for someone to save her." Morgan's face lit up with a grin at his words. She quite enjoyed 'saving' everyone.  _

_ "Okay!" She started for the doorway before stopping short. Turning back around, she launched herself over the chair arm into his lap. Her arms wrapped around his neck in a tight hug. He patted her back gently until she sat up away from him. Her dark eyes stared down at him with a twinkle so much like Tony's in them. "Thank you, Doctor Dad."  _

_ Stephen rolled his eyes at the nickname given to him by Peter. It was terrible but stuck somehow. Morgan jumped off his lap and raced back into her task before the detour. He only watched after her for another second before going back his reading.  _

A sigh escaped him as he leaned against a wall. That was one of the most pleasant life-times he had lived. Pepper, Tony, and Morgan moved into the Sanctum after an attack left their cabin in ruins. He had opened his door to them in the moment and they decided they liked it there. Not that he minded. He quite enjoyed having more life in the Sanctum after Wong had been dusted. They added a certain warmth to the building. It became home to all of them and soon Peter after May died in a car accident. The Sanctum had never been more full of love and laughter than it had in that life-time. 

Stephen looked away from the wall he was staring at when the door started to open. Peter and Wong stepped through and closed it before he could glimpse anything passed them. Not that he was going to look; he was quite content at the moment. 

"Did you really live through all of that?" Peter asked, partially hesitant and partially amazed. Stephen didn't have a problem recalling what had happened but he was flying too high to be brought down by the earlier memories. This was the first step in him getting better. 

"Yes, every single one. And several more." He pushed up off the wall and reached up to take off the device. "This is the same day still, correct? 'Cause it certainly feels like it." His question brought a certain grin to the kid's face. 

"Yeah, it's only been an hour." Stephen gave him a victorious grin. "So you actually remember everything in that hour?" At his nod, Peter grew excited. "This is amazing! If you remember this then we can use this method as a way of working through your memories. Only an hour a day to start, just to let the program get a feel for your mind. But if it continues to help then we could move on to longer uses."

"We must not get our hopes up." Wong's voice cut through the budding excitement and joy in the room. The two of them looked over at him as he opened a portal back to the Sanctum. "This is only the first test and only an hour in. Things might change once we are back at the Sanctum." Stephen eyed the foyer but stepped through anyway. It was home no matter what happened. 

"Then let's hope for the best but expect the worse." He said while heading for the kitchen. All of that made him surprisingly hungry or maybe he was hungry before. The little black device was stuffed into his pocket as a reminder. A corner of the Cloak flicked at his cheek and he couldn't find it in himself to be annoyed at the gesture.


	4. Chapter 4

The work on B.A.R.F. was going exceptionally well. They had re-worked the program to work collectively with Wong’s spells to target specific memories. It would work like it had before with projecting the memories to allow everyone to see what was happening and to let Strange work through what had happened. Peter was nervous to know what Strange was actually living through. He knew most of it wasn’t pleasant but there were a few times.

When he got to the Sanctum a few days after the incident he wasn’t surprised that Strange didn’t remember. He was almost glad that he didn’t. Nothing was mentioned about B.A.R.F. or a cure just yet; they still had to work out a few bugs. They played a few rounds of Rummy and other card games while Peter tried to determine how best to bring up the idea of a cure. 

It took another day to come up with a suitable option. 

The afternoon was cold and threatened rain when Peter entered the Sanctum. It took him a second to find where Strange was holed on the third floor watching the portal doors. An ocean was raging below the glass that held his attention. Peter announced his presence and was greeted by a flap from the Cloak. It was resting on Strange’s shoulders as if to keep him in place. 

“How’s your day been, Doc?” He sat down next to the man and studied his features. His skin was paler than it had been yesterday and his eyes were distant. The usual curl of hair on his forehead was overshadowed by the rest of his hair. It was disheveled like he had just woken up. Which was a likely case. 

“Normal. Nobody’s died yet so there’s that, I guess.” Strange reached out a hand to press against the cool glass of the door. Cloak wrapped a corner around his wrist and pulled it back gently; not wanting him to get too close. The wizard merely huffed and dropped his hands back down. “I feel like a prisoner in my own home.”

Peter felt his heart hurt at the words. He knew that they were trying to keep him from harm, but they didn’t know how he was taking it. This insight left him hollowing out. They don’t want to hurt the man or let him be hurt. 

“These doors can change to wherever they wish. Can become anywhere in the world. A way to travel without magic.” Cloak moved to twist a dial next to the door and the scene changed to a snowstorm on a mountain top. Next to him, Strange tensed. The dial was changed again to show the shining sun of a desert. Peter had played with doors before and knew how they worked well enough. “I used to travel back home to visit my sister’s grave with them. They open up to a stupid convience store a couple blocks from the cemetary. I always hated that place.” 

“Have you left the Sanctum recently?” Peter knew he mostly likely hadn’t, but the fear was still there. That he would have a lapse while out and cause damage to either himself or his surroundings. 

“No. I know better than to put others in danger.” The irritation in Strange’s voice had Peter sighing to himself. This obviously wasn’t a good day. While it didn’t seem terrible, he knew that something must have happened. Whether it was a memory or not was up in the air. “I’m not stupid, Parker.” Oh this definitely wasn’t a good day. Strange had taken to calling him by his first now unless it was a bad day; it was almost like a warning sign. 

“I didn’t say you were. I was just curious,” he replied. Strange rolled his head to the side to glare down at him. There was something missing in his blue gaze. There was no life left in them. They were dull and almost gray in color; matching the wizard’s mood. Peter tried not to sigh again when Strange finally turned back to the door. 

“Well stop. It’s annoying.” It was silent between the two of them for a long time. Peter kept quiet and waited for Strange to eventually get up to disappear into the Sanctum. On days like this he tended to sleep away the rest of the day and most of the next. It left Peter concerned, but he had learned to not question it. “Shut up. Jesus Christ! Do you not know how to be quiet for a damn second in your life?” 

The anger had Peter startling. He hadn’t said anything or even moved. Looking over at the wizard revealed that he wasn’t even looking at him. His gaze was on something just over his shoulder. Peter followed it and found the Cloak floating a little ways away from them. But he couldn’t determine what had set Strange off. It was completely quiet in the hallway. Cloak didn’t move as Strange continued to glare at it. 

“Shoo! Leave me alone for once.” The Cloak didn’t move. Peter could feel the tension building in Strange’s body and was about to do something when he moved. He got to his feet and turned to face the rest of the hall. “Fine, stay here. I’m leaving.”

Peter got to his feet as well and stood next to the Cloak to watch Stephen disappear down the stairs. At least this was a normal occurrence. It didn’t make Peter happy but it didn’t upset him like it used too. There was nothing he could do about Strange’s mood swings even if he wished he could help. Instead he shared a look with the Cloak before trailing after the doctor. 

The next day Strange was in a pleasant mood. Peter was greeted with a warm smile before they wandered off to the study. Now was the time to explain the idea for a cure. They had sat down and were in the middle of a nice conversation when he brought it up. Strange was skeptical at first with the idea but at least kept quiet to listen to the explanation. The more technical the terms got the more invested the man became.This was the first time he had even been given a chance at a cure. 

Peter couldn’t help the excitement he had while explaining B.A.R.F. to Strange. He kept quiet the fact that it was going to be Tony doing most of the work to avoid upsetting him, but that didn’t hinder the process. For several hours they went round and round talking about the technicalities and the magic being involved. Strange had tried to offer his limited help but Peter had told him that Wong was taking care of it. 

When it came down to a day and time for when they were going to do this they had a difficult time deciding. B.A.R.F. pretty much finished with them only needing to set up the room to be used, but none of them knew when Strange was going to have a good day. A good day would most certainly be needed to start this cure. Start off with a bad run and Strange might not want to ever try it again; or worse it’ll ruin his mind further. Eventually they decided that when he next had a pretty good day then they would get everything set up.

Three days later and it was the day. Peter was thankful it was the weekend to allow him to be around all day. He was at the Sanctum early in the morning to find Wong the only one awake. They shared a nice long conversation until Strange came down the stairs from his room. There was a grin on his lips despite how much of a mess he looked. Peter just knew that today was the day.

Mid afternoon and they were all in the foyer getting ready to portal when Strange flinched back. It had Peter worried that he had a lapse this close but nothing drastic had changed in his demeanor other than a few tears. He could tell that whatever he had just lived through wasn’t nice. But any thoughts of calling this off were silenced by how willingly Strange was to do this; even though he didn’t remember ever having the conversation.

Once inside the room it didn’t take long to hand over the connector device and head through the door. Wong and Tony stood in the room beyond and looked inside through a one way type of glass. There was a sort of nervous silence throughout both of the rooms as they set up the program; they had no idea if it was actually going to work. Peter was sitting just behind a desk and watching as Strange studied the room he was inside. 

“Alright, we ready to see what’s inside the wizard’s mind?” Tony didn’t give them a chance to answer as he started up B.A.R.F. with the press of a button. 

“We do not know what will come forth, but be prepared for the worst,” Wong said. It made Peter nervous to watch Strange sit down in the single chair.

A single minute passed by before the room was being filled with projections. The once bland room transformed into a shining dome-like glass building. They all could see Strange running from something when a window next to him exploded. It sprayed glass over him and sent him rolling into a puddle of deep purple liquid that they could only guess was blood. There was nobody else around the wizard but they could hear the screaming of other people. The shield Strange threw up barely covered the room. It flickered against the raining of explosions. He was knocked to the ground and his shield fell along with him. They all watched as a giant spike of glass pierced through his chest. 

Immediately the scene froze then disappeared back into the dull gray. Peter couldn’t help the choked noise that left him. He had never seen anything so bloody or horrific in his life; even up in space. It left a bad taste in his mouth and a vice grip around his heart. He could understand to some extent why Strange had refused to share with them what he was seeing. If everything was like then Peter would probably go insane. 

“That…” Tony paused in what he was going to say as Strange rose from his position on the ground. He glanced around the room for a single moment before it was being thrown into another memory.

The room fell away to reveal a pastel pink sky and tall waving orange grass. Peter good hear a soft whistling in the background. Strange stood in the middle of the empty field with his eyes closed and just breathing. A strange ruffling noise could be heard throughout the room that had Peter shying away from the glass. 

Even as the noise grew louder in the room Strange had yet to move. It was almost like he couldn’t hear it. A shadow grew over the room and fell over the wizard’s body; finally startling him. Wide blue eyes shot open and a monstrous six legged scaled creature appeared from thin air. It roared but Strange didn’t give any indication that he heard it. Only taking in the gaping maw and spinning around to run. He hardly made it a step before the creature’s jaws came down on his body. Blood splattered the grass before the scene gave way to the room once more. 

“I vow to never go to that planet,” Tony said. Peter looked over to find even his face was a little pale. Glancing at Wong gave him enough knowledge to know the sorcerer was somewhat disturbed by the scenes. 

“I didn’t think...I had hoped it wasn’t this-this bad.” Peter looked back to Strange to find the man practically sobbing on the floor. He was clutching his head as if trying to shield himself from something. When Peter was about to ask them to close the program the room was changing again. 

A shower of golden sparks filled the newly gained darkness. Nothing but the harsh orange glow of shields could be seen in the room. There were sounds of battle going on along with shouts from a somewhat familiar voice. Strange had yet to say anything as he threw out a large ball of white light into the darkness. The new light brought out the ruined space of some type of ship. Bodies of a four legged creature littered the room with their black blood painting the walls and floor. 

“Thank you!” A man’s voice called out in time with two laser blasts into the darkness. There was an answering screech from that direction. 

“Shut up and shoot!” Strange dropped his shields to pull out a saber of gold sparks. He spun around to stab one of the creatures trying to sneak up on him. “We’re trying to get out here, not die trying.”

“Whaddya think I’m doin?” Another laser shot into the darkness before a man appeared closer to Strange. The dirty and bleeding face of Quill became clear in the harsh white light. Peter knew he shouldn’t be surprised to see the man, but he somehow was. 

“Getting us killed? Since it was your idea to even come here.” Strange threw out his saber and impaled three of the creatures in a row. Another saber was quickly in his hands. 

“Look, I thought-” Quill stopped to nudge Strange to the side and punch one of the creatures in the face. Without missing a beat Strange reached around the man to stab it through the head. “It was going to be abandoned. And you wanted something interesting to do. And you can’t say anything, you’re just as bad, asshole.”

“That was six years ago. Give it a rest.” Peter wouldn’t’ve thought any time had passed since seeing Strange in the room and the memory one. Both still looked exactly the same.

“No. I need something to hold over your head.” The banter was silenced by a loud crashing in the darkness. Strange and Quill glanced towards the noise in fear; like they knew exactly what it was. Not a word was said as Strange pulled the Eye of Agamotto from his neck. He forced it over Quill’s head even as the man started protesting. Strange was having none of it. A small swirl of sparks appeared in his hands that coated the Eye before disappearing. 

“Take the Stone and run. I’ll hold it off as long as I can.” Strange brought up a giant shield against the left side of them. 

“No, I’m not leaving you here.” When Quill went to take off the Eye he cursed when it burnt his hand. “Take this back you asshole! It’s your Stone.” He went to lift up his guns only to have Strange push his arms back down. Fear and determination were clear in his eyes as he turned to face the Guardian. 

“Get out of here, Quill. You aren’t strong enough to help me and we’ll both die here if I don’t hold it off.” Strange put a single trembling hand on Quill’s face. “Go. There’s a chance of me getting out of here, but not if I have to protect you as well.” A battle warred over Quill’s face before he gave in. 

“Fine. But you better make it back. I can’t handle losing someone else.” Quill grabbed the hand on his cheek and held for a moment before letting go. He closed off his face and with a nod started running in the opposite direction of Strange. 

Peter watched as something crossed over the wizard’s face as he continued to follow Quill’s long gone path. A heavy sigh left him while he turned back to his shield. Just as the crashing was drawing closer the darkness disappeared. Strange was left standing in the middle of the room with an odd look over his face. It was almost like confusion. Then he shook his head and looked around the room. 

“Him and the Spaceman, huh.” Tony let out a huff of a laugh at the thought. Peter wasn’t going to judge, but he honestly couldn’t see it. From what he knew of Star-Lord he was very headstrong and flighty while Strange was steadfast and methodical; or at least he used to be. 

“The passage of time allows for many things to grow.” Wong’s words had Tony rolling his eyes in Peter’s direction. It brought a laugh from him. “But I, too, am surprised that anyone could deal with Strange in that capacity.”

“What about Dr. Palmer? They used to date.” Peter looked back at the sorcerer then the wizard in the other room. He didn’t know much about the relationship between Strange and Christine, but he had learned more in the last couple of months. Strange had actually been in love with the woman for a long time before his ego destroyed their relationship. 

“Then that woman has a stronger patience than the rest of us.” As if knowing they were talking, Strange looked straight at the glass. His gaze landed on Wong for several seconds before he was moving to stare at the ground again. Peter shared a look with Tony and only received a shrug in reply. Neither of them knew if he could actually hear them.

The room before them was transforming again. This time to a different, well lived in, spaceship. Peter could recognize Quill, Drax, Mantis, Tony, and Strange standing around the one area. And could guess that the last person in the room was himself by the Iron Spider armor. It was weird to see himself. 

He leaned forward in his chair to take in the scene as everyone started talking. The conversation was not pleasant in the slightest and made his stomach turn. It only got worse as the ship was torn about and Quill, Drax, and Mantis were killed. A sick feeling churned his stomach as he watched Tony and himself being ripped apart. Watching their blood drip down Strange’s face while he stared down Thanos had Peter cringing away. Then seeing as Strange’s body was separated and entirely unmade almost had him puking. 

When the memory disappeared he couldn’t have been happier. Silence filled both rooms until Strange picked himself up off the floor with a single sniff. His face was carefully placed into a mask while he brushed off his clothes. Peter was more than ready to call the end of the test even though twenty minutes had only passed. There was only so much blood and death he could handle. As the next memory was filled into the space he braced himself for the worst. 

A flower field spread out in the room. Mostly filled with wildflowers with a forest line at the edge of the field. There was a cleared out patch with a blanket and basket set out in the center. Two people sitting on it while a child played in a little creek bubbling off to the side. One of the people was obviously Strange and only Peter recognized the woman as Christine Palmer. They were watching the child while she leaned back against his chest. 

“Be careful, Donna.” Christine called out to the child. The little girl’s head turned towards them and allowed Peter to see the same striking blue eyes as Strange that matched the black hair. It was obvious the child was his. 

“I’m not doing anything!” Her little face turned up to her father as if searching for his help. Strange merely stared back at her then glanced down at Christine. 

“Listen to your mom. We just don’t want you getting hurt,” Strange said. The girl stomped her foot and sat down at the edge of the creek. It was really just a crevice in the ground with water rushing through it; nothing that could really cause her harm. 

“At least you listen to me.” Christine sighed and looked up at Strange with a soft smile. She leaned up to press a kiss to his lips before dropping back down again. Strange hummed at her but didn’t reply.

They fell back into a silence as they watched their daughter play. Peter found himself smiling at the scene. It was sweet and rather delicate compared to the others they had seen. He could only hope that the memories would be this nice for the rest of the hour; but he wouldn’t get his hopes up. The memory disappeared just as Donna was getting to her feet again. Everything was quiet as they processed what they had seen. 

“That was surprisingly pleasant. Didn’t know the wizard at it in him,” Tony said.

“That was Dr. Palmer if you were wondering.” Peter said, knowing that Tony was but didn’t want to ask. The genius gave a nod but didn’t say anything was the room darkened again. 

The night sky stretched out in the space of the room. At first Peter couldn’t find anything else in the room until a small set of headstones slowly appeared. Strange stepped towards them slowly while more and more headstones appeared to fill out the cemetery. The only few that had Strange’s attention grew clearer for all of them to see. There were three of them.

Strange sat down on the ground right in front of the one in center. In big letters Tony Stark was spelt out with several old offerings pushed off behind the stone. It was clear that the stone wasn’t brand new and neither were the two on either side of it. The one on the left had Pepper Stark while the one on the right had Peter Parker. Even just the sight of his own gravestone had Peter shifting in his seat. 

“We lost.” Strange’s voice was quiet and far too broken for anyone’s comfort. He leaned his head against the stone and allowed for the moon to highlight the peppered gray hairs. It was obvious he was getting older. “There was little we could do against his armies again. There were so few of us the first time and even less this last time.” A tremble filled the man’s voice. 

“I’m the only one left.” Peter just knew his heart was breaking at the sight. Strange looked battered and worn out. “Wong is gone finally. It took six days for his wounds to kill him. There was nothing we could do for him.” Without looking, Peter could tell Wong hadn’t been moved at the words. “We lost Morgan as well. Stopping her from helping hadn’t been an option; she wouldn’t even hear me out on the reasonings. I’m sorry, Tony. You trusted me to protect her and I couldn’t.”

Next to him, Peter heard Tony suck in a breath. He knew the man was thinking about the dark haired girl upstairs reading with Pepper. It would be a lie to say Peter wasn’t thinking about her also. 

“I don’t if she’s dead or not. Her skill in the Mystic Arts almost rivals my own and I haven’t seen her since the start of the battle.” Strange sat up from the stone and allowed for Peter to see how tired his face looked. Cuts covered his face along with an impressive scar running from his left temple over his eye and stopping at the right side of his mouth. “With half the population being gone for seventeen years, most of us have stopped trying. It was looking up there in the middle but we couldn’t save what was left of the world. I can’t tell how many people are actually left in the world, but I know it isn’t over a million.

“God! There’s nothing left for us to do.” Tears fell down Strange’s face and dripped into his lap. It was then that Peter noticed that the Cloak was missing. A single scrap of red fabric was tied around Strange’s wrist but that was the only color he wore. “The Order is gone and more than just this reality and universe is in shambles. Most of us were taken out by the Snap and the rest of us died in both fights. I’m the last one left.” 

Peter knew right then that something unpleasant was going to happen. Even just watching the memory had him tearing up and his chest tightening. In the room, Strange sat back further from the stone. He made several motions with his fingers and a dim orange glow started up in his palms. Tracing a pattern in the air and several runes started to appear in front of the wizard. 

“I’m sorry.” A sob escaped the man as he shuddered. “I’m so sorry.” Before anyone could blink the runes came down upon Strange’s body and ended the memory. 

It was completely quiet in their room while Strange cried softly in his. Peter had a hand over his mouth as he continued to stare at the broken man in front of him. This was so much worse to watch than all the others. It had more crushing defeat and pure anguish coating the memory that Peter could feel seeping into both rooms. 

“We should stop this.” He looked away from the room to give Tony and Wong an almost pleading look. It was probably like torture for Strange to relive these moments; one right after the other. And it wasn’t making any of them feel like this was working. 

“Give him time.” Wong nodded back to the room where it had transformed again. 

Peter heard Tony take in a breath like he recognized the room. It was a bedroom with wood style walls and two large windows. One over the king sized black bed and another on the wall to the right of the bed. A single dresser was by a door along with an open door leading into a closet. In the bed was Strange. Peter couldn’t tell if he was awake or not. 

It didn’t take long for all of them to hear a rustling from somewhere. The noise had Strange getting up and putting on some clothes over his boxers. He didn’t bother with his hair as he left the room into a very familiar hallway. Peter recognized the cabin and the door leading his room there. Strange bypassed all of them for the stairs and even knew which ones to avoid as they squeaked when someone stepped on them. It made his entrance to the kitchen quiet.

In the kitchen at the island stood Pepper. Looking rather worn and thin in her business clothes. Strange took a piece of cheese from a plate underneath her elbow and sat down across from her. The conversation that carried on was tense. It had Peter glancing at Tony to find him rather tensed up in his chair at the mention of Morgan; again. Hearing Pepper so harsh had Peter turning back to the room. 

Strange was talking and had gotten up from his seat. Tears were running down Pepper’s face that he moved to remedy. His hands came up to wipe away her tears while still saying gentle things to her. The scene faded away like all the other ones before it. Peter didn’t quite know what was happening in that memory, but he wasn’t going to ask Strange. He wouldn’t have gotten the chance anyway as another memory twisted the room.

A familiar group of individuals were soon sitting in the room. The great expansion of space spread out in front of the glass of the cockpit. Quill was obviously in the pilot’s seat while Drax sat beneath him and Mantis above him. Tony was next to Quill with Peter in the front with Drax which left Strange sitting by Mantis. Loud music was playing in the ship and had Quill and Tony singing along with it. Drax was asleep along with himself in the front. Mantis was doing something on the screen in front of her and Strange was just watching the two men below him.

The song reached its height and had the two of them singing over the actual artist. Strange rolled his eyes at them. It was obvious that he wasn’t really annoyed if his small smirk was something to go by. 

“Stephanie, you know anything about this song?” Tony asked while looking up at the wizard. He frowned at the name but answered him anyway. 

“Of course I do. Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) - Eurythmics. Released in 1983.” Strange rolled his eyes again like the question was an annoyance. His answer received a grin from Tony.

“You’re like our personal music wiki,” Tony said. He started humming to the next song that came on; Blue Swede - Hooked on a Feeling. 

“Sure, if that helps you sleep at night.” Peter watched as the sorcerer made a motion with his hand and the sound of the music got just the slightest bit louder; like he was trying to drown out their voices. It earned him a grin from the man beneath him. 

“Oh, you love me, admit it!” Tony’s voice was heard over the music as he grinned up at Strange. He sighed and relaxed back in his seat. 

“Yes, well, that doesn’t mean you don’t annoy me.” There was a shifting from behind Strange and then the Cloak was popping up from a table. It shot through the small space to lay over Tony’s body heavily. “Traitor.”

Peter was almost saddened when the scene faded away. It was nice and very domestic for it happening in a spaceship. He glanced at Tony to find him staring at Strange through the glass. There was something on his face that Peter couldn’t determine, but he knew it was nothing bad. More likely the man was curious about the memory. He was too if he was honest. Strange and Tony were on the same wavelength before the Snap with their snark and sarcasm; but he couldn’t see them becoming more than just friends. Then again he had a hard time seeing Strange with anyone. The wizard was just different from most others and even more so now. 

If anyone was going to say something the moment had passed by as the room was shifting again. This time it was into an ocean. Clear blue water was lapping at a white beach. The sky was turning into an odd green color as three suns started to set on the horizon. Strange sat at the edge of the beach with his bare legs set out for the water to wash over when the tide brought it back in. Next to him was Tony surprisingly. No trace of fear was on the man’s face from being so close to a large body of water. He was spread out on the sand next to the sitting figure of Strange completely relaxed. Out in the water Peter could just barely spy himself and something else splashing around. 

“Do you think that Pepper would be upset if we got married?” The question came from Tony on the sand. It was quiet in both rooms as they waited for Strange to answer. Tony cracked open an eye when the silence carried on for a moment too long. Strange was still watching Peter out in the water. “Did you hear me, Stephen?”

“I heard you. I was just hoping you were joking.” The man finally turned his head to look down at Tony; and allowed for those outside of the memory to finally see his face. There was nothing exactly wrong with it, but his once blue eyes were a bright green and a touch sightless. They moved over Tony’s face like he was studying him but not really seeing him. It made Peter a little nervous. 

“Well I’m not. I want to get married.” Tony sat up and caught Strange’s face in his hands. “Look, I know you can’t see anything passed Time and what not. But take second to just relax. You and the Stone are one now, have been for a while, and Thanos is dead. I know Earth is gone, but there is still life out in the universe. Other things can give your life meaning.” 

“I’ve heard that before.” Strange pulled out of Tony’s grip to stare back out into the ocean. Peter watched himself give a wave along with the thing with him. “And I ruined the one good thing still left in my life at the time. Other things can give me meaning, I know. And I’d love to marry you, Tony. But you’re going to die in the next forty-five or so years and Peter in the next eighty. I’m going to be the last living creature in this universe until the end of Time. What’s the point in getting married?”

Peter shifted in his chair uncomfortably. It felt like he was witnessing a very private moment. When he glanced over at Tony he found him looking much the same; if more uncomfortable and unsettled. Back in the room Strange was digging his hands into the sand next to him. 

“The point of getting married? There isn’t one! I just know that I want to spend the rest of what’s left of my life with you.” Tony took one of Strange’s hands and lifted it up to his lips to kiss. “I love you, Stephen.”

“I know.” The answer received a laugh from both of them. There was a sound from the ocean that drew Peter’s attention to it. His counterpart was coming closer to the shore with a drenched light furred creature behind him. “Look, I’ll marry you.” Strange was about to go on when the furred creature bounded towards him. It was huge. Well over six feet in length and at least four in height. The sandy blonde fur was dripping but didn’t hide any of the cat-like features it bore. Triangle-like ears were pointed to the sky while two long tails were waving in the air.

“Hey, Pete.” Tony offered him a wave when he dropped down in the sand next to him. The cat-like creature flopped down over Strange’s lap and made a purring sound. “And you too, Mushu.” 

“I still don’t know why he likes me more than you two. Animals used to hate me on the farm.” Peter remembered a few stories Strange had told him of his childhood growing up in Nebraska. He really wasn’t joking about animals not liking him. Just as Tony went to say something the memory faded away. 

It left Peter leaning back in his chair just watching Strange in the room. The man was standing in the middle of the room with an odd smile on his face. Clearly the man was getting into the better memories he has; thankfully. Peter looked to Wong and Tony to find them staring into the room as well. It was transforming again. This time the familiar setting of Strange’s study in the Sanctum but more modernized. Strange was sitting in a red chair with a thick tome in his hands. A call of ‘Dad’ went through the room in a distant but familiar voice of Morgan. It didn’t take long for footsteps to lead to the girl standing in the doorway. She was a few years older than the current one upstairs. Her hair was long and up in pigtails and the clothes she was wearing were covered in paint. 

They watched and listened to the conversation between the two in the room. The gentle familiar way Strange interacted with the girl and her own responses allowed them to know that they were very close. When the suggestion of Morgan finding her mother was made Tony shifted in his seat. The girl grew thoughtful then lit up with a grin at Strange’s next words. It made Peter wonder what was really going on in the Sanctum. With not only himself living there but the entire Stark family as well, it was rather weird. But Morgan in the memory seemed to have no problems heading for the door then racing back to Strange. She was up into his lap to give him a hug along with a thank you that had Tony tapping on the table in a quick beat. 

Then the girl was once again leaving the room and the scene fizzled away.

“Alright, it’s been an hour. I’m shutting it down.” Tony tapped a few keys on the screen before him to shut B.A.R.F. down. In the room Strange was leaning against the back wall and staring at the opposite one. 

“That went well, right?” Peter was up from his seat and nervously shifting next to the door. 

“Yeah, yeah, the Doc did great. Let’s hope that tomorrow and the next days go better,” Tony said. He closed out of the program and let the screens go dark. “I’m gonna leave you two to it. Get him back home safe and be here tomorrow.” 

Peter knew he was really wanting to check on Pepper and Morgan upstairs after the memories. He gave a nod and went for the door into Strange’s room. Wong was right behind him. 

As Strange confirmed that he remembered all of what had happened and that his mind was still clear, Peter allowed for his hope to grow. This was the first real step into helping him. Even if the beginning was rocky and downright terrifying the move into better memories was a good thing. Until the adjustment period of both the machine and Strange was over. Then they would have to move into the hard part of this treatment. They would have to show him out to navigate in the memories from the outside; to separate him from what was happening. But Peter had hope they could do it. He had too. There was no way he was going to let Strange fail blindly and possibly mess himself up worse than he already was. This was a group effort in helping him. They were in this together; all of them.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long, writer's block is kicking my ass at the moment. 
> 
> Trigger warning for abuse.

Being able to tell when the next day began was almost tear inducing. Stephen had woken up everyday for a week and just knew that he remembered most of the day before. For an hour each day he went through several memories that he didn’t get lost in or sucked below the confusion. He felt more and more like himself after each session. The third day he was even able to do actual magic again. Not just portals but short range teleporting around the Sanctum. He’d never felt more free than he did in that hour of relearning the spell. Everything was slowly coming back to him more and more with each passing day. 

Of course he still had missing hours and certain conversations, but it was easier to identify those moments. Peter had been by every single day and been there for every session even if they were during his school hours. Stephen was both happy at him being there but also a bit upset at himself for making the kid miss school. It was then that they agreed to move the session to after school to make it easier on the kid. He could last a couple more hours anyway. There wasn’t anything pressing about the sessions being a few hours later than they usually were. 

_ A heavy vibration came to him through the ground. He opened his eyes to the darkness of the pitch black sky of this planet. The sky was always covered in black clouds so the sight of the stars was impossible. Not that it changed the fact that it was still night outside. He looked away from the sky to where the vibrating of steps caught his attention. Since he lost his hearing he mostly relied on vibrations to tell when something was coming when he wasn’t looking. Whatever was coming towards him was decidedly very large. And through the white trees a cow-like creature appeared. _

_ It was a deep maroon with a single white stripe down its face. Three tails whipped back and forth as it approached him. There was nothing immediately threatening about the creature so he just watched it. The thing stopped just in front of him and seemingly sniffed at him. A gust of rancid air hit his face. It took a lot out of him not to gag at the smell. This thing had clearly been eating something long since dead. Which meant that it was most likely a meat eater and seeing if he was a meal. Cloak twitched on his shoulders and caught the creature’s attention. The red cloth froze at the completely black gaze.  _

_ Then it opened its mouth to reveal several small sharp teeth. And just as Stephen was preparing for a fight it closed its mouth again. It watched him closely before turning away. Obviously he wasn’t what it wanted to eat thankfully. The creature went on its way back through the trees while he went back to watching the empty sky.  _

“Hey, Wong?” Stephen peeked his head around the door frame into the training room. Wong was going through several motions but paused long enough to look over at him. “Do you know where the book on dimensional shifting is at? I checked the east library but couldn’t find it.” 

“Peter was reading it in your study.” For a moment Stephen just watched Wong go back to his training before leaving. 

He should honestly get back into the habit of training. It had been a year or so since his last actual day of training or anything of the sort. There would be no use of weapons until he was certain he wouldn’t cause any harm to anything in the near vicinity though. He had no trust in himself just yet. 

The door to the study was already open when he got near. It opened wider as he got closer until it revealed Cloak waiting for him. He had honestly missed having the garment around. Most of the time he hadn’t noticed the missing friend but in the last week he really had. Every time he went to do something he expected to see the Cloak with him but it never was. It was an adjustment period for both of them when he finally acknowledged Cloak once again. The moment that the garment had come to him willingly brought him to tears. He hadn’t realized how much was missing until Cloak wrapped around him in a hug tight enough to cut off his circulation. 

But he couldn’t help feeling that something else was missing. Something big and dangerous to his psyche. It lurked in the back of his mind every time he went for a session with Peter and Wong. A looming shadow on his mind about who else was in the other room; who they were hiding from him. He had yet to say anything because this treatment was working, but he was beyond curious. There was something big waiting to happen. 

_ This was nice. The gentle breeze on his face as he shifted reality around him to move through the forest. A little giggling Morgan was clinging to his back. Behind them he could hear Peter swinging through the branches and Pepper’s Rescue suit dodging the leaves. They were having a race. To see who could get Morgan back to the cabin the fastest. So far Stephen was winning. In fact he had won the last three times they played. Rules had been put in place against his portals and Cloak, but his use of magic was still superior to their technology.  _

_ He came to a stop on the front porch and let Morgan slide to the ground. Peter swung from a branch and landed just before the steps with Pepper just behind him. They were getting faster with each race. But he could always increase the distance of his teleporting to get back earlier to win. Morgan always enjoyed the shifting of the air around her as they stepped through the barriers of reality.  _

_ “I swear you’re cheating.” Peter said while swiping a leaf out of his hair.  _

_ “Magic is faster than technology. I’ve told you this.” He shook out his own hair and watched a green leaf flutter to the wood. His hair was definitely longer than he liked.  _

_ “You could at least play fair, Stephen.” Pepper stepped out of her armor and joined them on the porch. Morgan leaped into her arms and started babbling about the little trip. The little girl was quick to defend him.  _

_ “It’s fair! You and Petey just aren’t the fastest,” she said. A bright smile was on her face to show a missing front tooth. She lost it after tripping down the stairs and hitting the railing. It was a bloody mess. “Steph’s magic is better!” _

_ “I told you.” Stephen smirked at the three of them and flopped down on one of the chairs.  _

_ “I still say it’s cheating.” Peter sat on the other chair and propped his legs up on the table. Pepper gave him a look that made the kid drop his legs back down with a sheepish smile. This was nice alright. Better than the hectic air of the Sanctum at the moment. There was never any peace.  _

He was pretty sure it was Saturday. Peter had been at the Sanctum early in the morning to join him for breakfast. The kid had talked a mile a minute about how this session was supposed to be the last adjustment one and that the next they would start on the real treatment. Stephen could practically feel the excitement in the air from him. He couldn’t help the optimistic energy burning under his own skin at the prospect of getting better. Even Wong had cracked a smile at the joy in the Sanctum.

The burning hope and startling happiness at stepping into the gray room was almost overwhelming. He nearly cried at how close they were at fixing him. It had been so damn long. The missing days had haunted his every step for months and the empty conversations plagued his sleep. There had been nothing for so long that this little sliver of hope was bringing him a new kind of high. He was so ready to be clear of the burdening memories. To be cleansed of the ruins of his mind. To have freedom from this ever present prison built by desperation and death. This was going to be the first real step into coping and learning and living once again. 

“Alright, we ready for this, Doc?” Peter asked, standing just beside the door. Stephen felt Cloak settle heavier on his shoulders as he turned. 

“Yeah, more than ready actually.” He nodded and put the connector device behind his right ear. Peter grinned and slipped through the door into the separate room to start the program. Over the last week he had been getting better at remembering all of the memories that played out, but he still had a few missing from time to time. He had also sort of got a handle on how to shift the memories from bad to better. It didn’t work all the time but it was a start at least. 

_ “Do you love me?” Stephen looked up from his holo-screen to watch his companion move closer. The alien woman had saved him several years ago from enslavement. Kanna had become a close friend and could possibly be more if he was willing to put the effort in. She was nice and absolutely a goddess with combining magic and technology, but he wasn’t that man anymore. Love and relationships was for the man that lived on Earth with hope for a future; not the man that fought his way through the universe to hide an Infinity Stone.  _

_ “Not in the way you deserve.” He didn’t bother putting down the screen for this conversation. It was going to be painful for her, but he had work to focus on. She shifted to sit down in the chair across from him. “You deserve all the love someone could give and more, but you aren’t going to get that from me.” _

_ “Would you at least tell me why to my face?” Kanna tapped on the table with a piece of scrap metal to try for his attention.  _

_“No.” He caught a strand of magic coding that he threw up into the air. It expanded into a spinning rune of bright blue that he manipulated to settle over the metal ring in front of him. “I am no longer the man from Earth that believed in a future with someone. You want something that I can no longer give. You’re my companion through this universe and nothing more. I would have loved you like you want before, but not now.” The rune encased the reinforced ring and made it glow._ _It was no bigger than that of a tea cup rim. He reached to pick it up when a dark hand covered his own. “Kanna, go back to the work you were doing before this useless conversation started. You will find a better lover than myself.”_

_ “Even if all I want is you?” He finally looked over at her to find a resigned heartbroken frown on her face.  _

_ “Even then. You will not get anything more than I’ve already given. That is not the man you deserve. Leave behind the love you hold for me and find someone better fit for it.”  _

Stephen cringed at himself. He had quite enjoyed Kanna’s presence in the few lives that they had met. She was different and very interesting to be around. The fact that he practically destroyed her hope for them kind of hurt. But he wasn’t a man of love. Even Christine knew that as they tried to make their relationship work.

_ Again with this headache. It has plagued him for three days in a row now. He screwed his eyes shut against the pounding in his temples. There was a soft hand on his thigh that hardly broke through the pain in his head. Gentle words were whispered in his ear. Fingers carded through his hair as if to ease the pressure. A kiss was pressed to his nose. He tried to lift his hands to push away whoever was touching him only to find them in restraints. Thick rope bound his wrists to the bed.  _

_ His eyes opened to blink up at the blurry figure above him. Their figure was soft and hazy. The gentle murmurings came to a stop along with the fingers in his hair. As his vision cleared the worse his headache grew. The figure sharpened into a humanoid with curved horns in place of eyebrows. They were obviously female but he couldn’t remember what was going on. He opened his mouth to ask only to find a gag in place. Sweat started to bead on his forehead in the small panic trying to claw its way through his chest. A slim claw tipped hand pressed down on his chest as the woman moved to straddle his waist. He tried to move his legs only to find them bound as well.  _

_ “Don’t struggle, my gem.” At the mention of a gem he could feel the heavy necklace of Agamotto sitting on his collar bone. He didn’t glance down at it but instead held the woman’s dark blue gaze. There was a sadistic grin sliding into place on her lips. “You’ve been through this several times before. And each is better than the last.”  _

_ Her claws dug into his bare chest to draw blood. He forced his tense muscles to relax and calm his beating heart. The panic still tried to drown him but he forced it down. His headache was lessening the longer they stayed in this position. Then she leaned down to kiss along his jaw and bite at his stubble covered skin. Sharp teeth drawing blood. She leaned away when he didn’t respond. A fierce glare of cold eyes and bloody teeth stared down at him. Her claw tipped hand lifted from its place on his side up into the air. It was brought down in a sharp, stinging, slap to his left cheek.  _

The force of the memory and sheer panic in the moment of the slap had him stumbling backwards. Cloak steadied him before he could fall to the ground. What the hell was that and where did it come from? He hadn’t had memories like that that he could remember in the past year. Nothing that close to non-consent. It left him breathless and shaking. 

_ Stephen turned the page of his book. The noise of the page didn’t reach his ears and neither did the other sounds of the room around him. His hearing had lessened over the last few years. The constant fighting and blows to his head did nothing for him in the long run. Magic could only do so much when he’s already lost. But with his hearing loss brought along more trouble than he anticipated.  _

_ His quiet reading was interrupted by the hand coming down on the back of his head. The pain jarred him and sent him stumbling off the chair. He whirled around to find a familiar pair of gold eyes and long white hair. Jirrhano and him have been living together for close to a year after he finally destroyed the Time Stone. They had been dating, or something close to the sort, for close to three years now. And never had he been violent towards him before. He waved out his hands to try and express his confusion and hurt about the action against him.  _

_ “Just stop, you insect.” The normally soft lilting accent of his lover was surprisingly cold. Stephen took a step back and fought the urge to bring up a set of shields. “I’ve been trying to get your attention for the past ten minutes. But your deaf ass couldn’t hear me.” Over the years Jirrhano had found him a translator that put his words into something more understandable to him. But with the loss of his hearing he had to have it implanted into his brain for him to even get a reading on what he was saying. The bad thing about the translator is that it only worked for Jirrhano’s voice. If anyone spoke he was just as deaf as usual.  _

_ “I’m sorry.” He signed out in the language he had been taught. It wasn’t close to the sign language on Earth, but he had picked it up easy enough.  _

_ “You’re not sorry. You should be able to hear me with that implant in.” Jirrhano stepped around the chair to come closer to him. He fought the urge to take a step back. “Listen when I’m calling for you.” A hand caught his arm while the other raised to hit him again. Stephen threw up a quick shield and ducked away from the blow.  _

_ “What are you doing?” He missed the punch landing on his cheek in his movements. It stung and had him shifting reality to appear several feet away. “Stop this. I don’t want to hurt you.” _

_ “Hurt me? Ha, like you ever could.” Stephen kept his shields up as Jirrhano moved closer to him again. The man tried to hit him again but only met the golden shields. A leg kicked out to sweep his feet out from under him, sending him to his knees. He really didn’t want to hurt him but if this carried on he would have to do something. Another fist met his cheek.  _

Where was all of this coming from? Stephen fell into the chair even with Cloak’s comforting hold on his shoulders. The phantom pain traced over his face. These memories had never come to him before, ever. He had fought monsters and aliens and died countless times, but he’d never faced this. His mind had obviously been shielding him from the memories even as it tore him apart from the inside. B.A.R.F. was bringing everything to the surface. 

_ This was a change of pace. Stephen threw a punch with fighting runes coating his body. It wasn’t fair fighting on Earth but he was no longer on the little planet. The giant rock creature pitted against him missed the duck and took the full force of the punch straight to the chin. Most of his magic had been banned but he had been allowed simple spells thankfully. After winning so many fights against the used to be reigning champions he had to be heavily restricted. It was annoying but he could win even with them in place most times. He’d been in the fighting pits and rings from long enough to learn almost every fighting style this place had to offer. _

_ He rolled away from a swinging sword and jabbed at the rocky side. The creature doubled over and allowed for Stephen to bring up a rune covered knee into its face. Shards of blue rock crumbled away against the force. Another hard hitting punch aimed at where the temple would normally be rendered the creature useless on the ground. This had been an easy and boring fight. _

_ “Our Champion is the winner again! Bets will be taken at the end of all matches.” The translation spell he had on constantly allowed for him to understand most of what was being said. There was still a lot that didn’t translate to English but he stopped paying attention to what was being said a long time ago. “Anyone else wish to challenge?”  _

_ There was silence in the surrounding stands. Stephen had won every fight thrown at him this night. It seemed nobody was daring enough to try their prized winner against him. He let the runes drop from his skin and felt the ache in his bones. This constant fighting was wearing down on his body but this easy fight had allowed for a reprieve. Maybe he’d be given a full day's rest after this. He doubted it for his owners were never giving but he allowed for his thoughts to run wild in the moment. Then he was being pulled from the arena into the pits below.  _

_ He was the only Terran in these fights but there were others of the humanoid shape. They never wanted to talk and quite frankly neither did he. Nobody here was there by their own volition. He had been captured years ago during a raid to the planet he was laying low on. From there he had fought and killed his way to the top of this dangerous world. His body was stained with blood and death.  _

_ The others down in the pits tended to avoid him. Nobody wanted to fight with him. He was king down here. Everyone parted around him and let him watch the next fights. This was a rather dull night. Which meant that tomorrow was going to be filled to the brim with actual challenges. A hand grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. He blinked at the lizard creature that had forced his attention towards them. His attention was not something anyone wanted. A large scaled fist was raised against him and landed a solid punch on his face. Blood dripped from the scratches on his already bruised skin.  _

Stephen forced his body to relax. He could work through this and not get lost in the repetitive actions. This was the last adjustment day for both him and the program, he could push through this. 

_ “Babe?” Stephen stood in the doorway of a workshop. Plants covered every available surface but a single table in the middle of the room. On the table was a small animal being dissected with two hands deep into the blood and organs. Currish had asked him not to disturb her when she was working down in the lab, but that had been close to a week ago. He was missing her quite a lot.  _

_ There was a wet squelch sound from the table. He took a few steps closer to her but paused just behind her. Up to her elbows were covered in deep red blood. Now he had been a surgeon and wasn’t squeamish around blood but this was something different. He never condoned the actions of violence against animals; he didn’t even like the dissection of them in school. They didn’t deserve that kind of treatment.  _

_ “Babe?” He reached out to touch her slim shoulder. The second his hand touched her a bloody hand was swung back to hit him. A red smear was left across his cheek and nose.  _

_ “What did I tell you about disturbing me?” Stephen took a step back from her as she got up from her stool.  _

_ “I just missed you, angel. You’ve been down here for a week already.” He lifted a sleeve covered arm to wipe off the blood. It was turning cold and viscous on his skin. Currish turned slanted dark eyes on him as her feather-like hair bristled.  _

_ “What could you possibly need? You’re always wanting something, leave me alone for once.” Stephen shied away from her angry tone but didn’t step away.  _

_ “It’s not healthy to be down here for so long. You need some rest at least,” he said. It only served to make her angrier. Her red fist came up to hit him again and again. He backed away from her violence but didn’t lift a hand to defend himself. She was just upset and didn’t mean to hurt him; and he could never bring himself to go against her.  _

_ “I didn’t ask for you to care!” Blood coated his face from more than just the dead animal. His lip was split and his nose was dripping blood down his chin. The anger against him stopped as he slid to the ground with a heavy breath. He lifted a hand to wipe the blood out of his eyes and looked up at the heaving form of his wife.  _

_ “Do you feel better now?” Talking hurt but he needed to know if this had helped her. She didn’t say anything as she reached out to catch his chin with a bruised hand.  _

_ “So much more.” She leaned down to press a gentle kiss to his bloody lips. He sighed and returned it before lying down on the tile floor. His face hurt and he was tired. “I love you, Stephen. More than anything in the universe.”  _

_ “I love you too, angel.” There was movement and soon she was lying next to him. She turned his head enough to place another kiss on his lips.  _

_ “We should do this again sometime.” Stephen ignored the instinctual cringe at the suggestion and gave her a smile.  _

_ “Of course. Whatever helps you.”  _

Okay, that was definitely not healthy. There was no aspect of that that was part of a healthy relationship. Stephen knew Peter and Wong could see the memories and just hoped that they wouldn’t hold anything against him. He shook himself and ignored the twinge coming from his face. 

_ There was another fist coming his way. Fast and hard it hit him in the nose.  _

_ Soft and gentle hands cupped his bleeding face and lifted his chin up to another hand coming down on him. It was both heavy and painful with a loving caress at the end. A press of lips against his forehead and then another blow.  _

_ He gagged and puked down his chest. A fist hit his stomach again and a hand bigger than his head slammed into his face. Blood dripped down his face from how long he had been enduring this treatment.  _

More and more of the same actions raced through his mind. Every one speeding up and blurring together in a tornado of hurt. Blending into a repeat. Repeat and repeat. The same motion in a loop. Loops upon loops of the same pain. Coming again and again to torment him forever. With each new punch came a darker memory. One full of black space and a shifting face. 

_ Cloak settled heavily on his shoulders as he glanced down at the green runes circling his wrist. He leaped down to the dark planet before Dormammu and called out a bargain to him. A giant fist came down to crush him. Sending him back to the start of the loop; a kaleidoscope of planets and colors and the never ending darkness seeking to swallow him whole. Again and again he fought for a bargain. This time loop keeps everything the same, starting him whole again. Death never lasts. Even if he wishes for it to stick for once. _


End file.
